As I was browsing through Instagram, drinking wine and looking at the photos of people on vacation. People living a vacation. People smiling. Laughing. Eating fancy food. And basically doing everything without a worry in the world- or so it seems- I remembered this quote I had saved some months ago.
“Not my circus, not my monkeys.”
– Polish Proverb.
I liked it at that time, smiled and saved it for future use or to send it to one of my friends to cheer them up and inspire them, since at that time, I couldn’t really relate to it. I thought it had more to do with quarrels between people and you wanting to fix things between them. But then my mind – or the wine- found another meaning to those words and once again my mind- or the wine again- became both my saviour and my torturer.
Nie mój cyrk, nie moje małpy , “not my circus, not my monkey;” is a polish idiom that figuratively means, “not my problem.” Monkeys are the ‘problems’ and the circus where these problems come from, and these six words are basically telling you if it is not your circus, then it is not your problem.
What I’m seeing here now is more directed to the one’s self rather than not taking part in what doesn’t concern you. What I’m reading now, is something more or less meaning, I’m not in control. This is not my circus. I cannot control my employer or the way certain things go-or should go. There is nothing I can do and I should stop worrying about it and stress about it. I should let go because this is not my circus and I cannot control the monkeys.
Maybe it’s because I’m having problems at work and stressing my life out that I’m putting those words under a different light…mine. Twisting them to help me breathe and sleep a little better at night. I cannot control the circus that I work in, let alone the monkeys that keep jumping around me, pulling at my hair and stealing every bit of motivation I had when I first started working there two years ago. I cannot control it and while I don’t like having monkeys thrown my way- or at my colleagues- I cannot control them either.